Here is a short bit from a story I've been writing lately. Let me know what you think.
I glanced about the crowded mall as I rode down the escalator, briefly scanning the occasional interesting looking person. My eyes and interest halted abruptly when I saw a tall, blonde man who was impeccably dressed in a tailored suit. He was gorgeous! I took a moment to appreciate him. He was very tall, at least a head taller than the people around him, and he had blonde hair that curled slightly at his collar. There was something about him that made him stand out from the crowd. I just couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was. He was talking with a few other people just inside a restaurant on the first floor.
I decided to eavesdrop on his thoughts for a bit and was stunned when I could hear him suddenly and silently ask “Who? Where?” as a curious look appeared on his face and he turned to find who was poking about in his head.
I realized at that same instant that he was a vampire. He had a completely different mind signature. That also meant it was after dark. Damn! I should have checked the time earlier.
He smiled wryly and silently asked, “Yes, I am. Now, where might you be?” But as he finished the thought, his eyes locked with mine. “Ah, lovely,” he thought approvingly with a sexy smile and began moving through the crowd to the escalator.
“Uh oh,” I thought, scared to death, “I’m out of here.”
“Wait!” he called, but I shut down my mind to close out any further contact and ran down the remaining steps of the escalator. I needed to get away as quickly as possible. I knew I needed to stay away from vampires and I hadn’t ever really been that concerned about it. When I had been growing up, my parents had told me vampires and other creatures really did exist, but that most people still thought they were only a work of fiction and movies. I had no problem with the idea, but I had never seen or heard of one except from my parents. I had had my doubts. Those doubts were rapidly disintegrating.